Complexities of a Woman’s Libido

What is Libido?

Libido is just another terminology for sex drive. It is the desire one has for sex. It’s what makes you want to jump into bed with your partner, ripping off their clothes and rolling in the sheets. Sex drive or libido is not the same for everyone; it is different for both men and women. While it might be simple for men, it cannot be very easy for women.

So many things can affect a person’s desire for sex. Like your sexual attractions, attractiveness to your partner, life experiences, hormones, medical condition, and stress. A woman’s libido is very complex; it could be supercharged today and extremely low tomorrow. This change in sex drive is usually the reason for the change in sexual activity in relationships. It’s the reason why some couples have a lot of sex, and others don’t.

What Controls Libido?

Libido is controlled by a hormone called testosterone, which is supported by the presence or the release of dopamine (the feel-good chemical). The amount of testosterone that you have as a woman plays a vital role in your sex drive, especially before menstruation when pregnancy is most likely to happen. It pushes you to want to have sex so you can make babies; this is why women seem to be hornier during these times. It’s all in the testosterone, which in turn drives the libido.

When the libido is present, things get to go smoothly, it makes relationships fun and intimate. But things don't always stay the same, sometimes desire might reduce, and when this happens, women don’t feel like having sex, they lose interest entirely; sometimes they don’t even care about intimate romantic gestures like kissing and cuddling. It happens to many women, so if you have such experiences, you are not alone. Research has shown that one in three women have a low libido problem, so it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Causes of Low Libido

There are a lot of reasons that libido can change from high to low. It could be as a result of a decrease in estrogen or due to sicknesses. It could be stress at work, money problems, relationship problems, or lack of strength. These are some of the reasons that cause low libido in women. These stresses cause an increase in the production of a hormone called cortisol or the stress hormone; this hormone decreases the production of testosterone and therefore increases low sex drive. There are a lot of other problems that can result in a low libido for women, these include:

Painful Sex

Most women are victims of painful sex, as there is sometimes not enough lubrication to make sex enjoyable, so it results in pain. A woman who has experienced a series of painful sexual intercourse may not feel the urge to indulge in sexual intercourse to avoid reliving that experience.


Being tired can result in low libido; women do not like to have sex when tired.


This may happen when sex becomes boring for a woman; it could as a result of several reasons like lack of foreplay, or the same sexual position. It could even be as a result of familiarity. These can contribute to a lower sex drive.


Depression is a huge topic and can be a significant cause of low libido. This is because a depressed person is extremely sad and would see little or no reason to do anything, let alone have sex.

Painful Experiences

This could be anything, from rape to molestation and even groping. This can make a woman lose all love and urge for sex because engaging in sexual intercourse would remind them of those painful and traumatic experiences.


As a woman approaches menopause, her sex drive begins to reduce as her body is no longer capable of making babes, the testosterone levels decrease and hence the libido.

These are some of the reasons a woman might have a low libido.

How to Get Back Your Libido

Low libido does not mean the end of a relationship, love life, or sexual life. There are a lot of ways a woman could get her libido back up and spring your sex life back to life.


This is one way to increase low libido. By going for therapy and talking to a therapist, there are a lot of sex and relationship therapists who are effective in understanding the reasons for low libido and recommending solutions that work.

Dealing with Stress

Stress is one of the major reasons for low libido, and dealing with stress can get it back up. Ways to deals with stress include exercising, yoga, relaxing with TV shows, and of course, taking a walk: the lower your stress levels, the higher your libido.

Use Lubrication

This is a solution for women who experience painful sex. Using a sex enhancer like a lube always works. The lubrication will help to take the pain away and make sex easier and enjoyable. The more enjoyable it is, the more likely you are to want it again.


Try New Things

his is another way to keep the sex drive up, learn to spice things up during sex. Try out new positions, using sex enhancers, and trying role-playing exercises, you could also try a lot of play before going to genital sex. Doing some of these will help to take away the over-familiarity and redundancy of some sexual intercourse. It will keep your partner interested and make them anticipate the next romantic session.

How about a little edible body play paint?

Edible Body Play Paints


You could also use some libido enhancement pills like Flibanserin (Addyi.) or placebo. These can also help to increase your libido, however make sure you speak with your doctors about these before hand.

Talk to Your Partner

This is one of the important ones. If, as a woman, you’re experiencing a drop in your libido, go ahead and talk to your partner about it. There is no one more understanding than your partner because it affects you both. Express yourself, and perhaps, you could find a solution together.

In Conclusion

A woman is a very delicate and complex creature, sometimes it takes a whole lot to understand them, but it is worth it to put in the time and effort. If your partner's libido is low, it doesn't have to be the end of your sex life, and you can always work things out.

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