Establishing Communication in Your Relationship

Communication is the basis and foundation upon which a good relationship is found. It is the bedrock for a great and healthy relationship. But in this age of instant gratification, which is aggravated by the widespread and constant use of social media, there has been a high degradation in communication skills, especially between spouses. The thing is, without communication, relationships will not survive the daily struggles of quarrels and misunderstandings. Lack of communication is the reason for the early demise of relationships these days. It is saddening because a good percentage of relationships would be saved from ruin if only spouses just communicated with each other and had a mutual understanding. 

How well you and your partner understand each other is based on how well you communicate. If your relationship isn't going as well as you would like it to be, there is most likely a lack of communication. You probably see it every day, with friends' relationships or colleagues' marriage and the lack of communication. The majority of breakups today are due to the lack of communication skills by either partner. They are unable to successfully communicate with each other and express how they truly feel. They avoid talking about their problems, ignore them, and hope they go away, but it never actually works, because the past you don't fix will always come back to haunt you.  

Communication is a crucial aspect of life, and that is why you must learn the skills that will help you communicate, not just with your partner but also with the rest of the world. It will help make your relationship fun, enjoyable, and loving and end all the pain caused by misunderstandings. 

Communication is not just about getting people to understand you; it is also about you understanding people. We need to understand our partner. Sometimes, they also have problems communicating because they lack the skills to do so. It is our place and duty to observe and know if and when they do have issues sharing their feelings with you. They may show these signs if they have problems communicating with you.

  • They may sometimes raise their voices or yell.
  • Sometimes they may stay away from you and keep to themselves or focus on other things like books, movies, games, and even work.
  • They may give you the silent treatment and try to avoid conversation, or they go along with everything you say. 

These are some of the signs that your spouse has problems communicating. When people fail to communicate, most times, it is not their fault, but just a part of their upbringing or childhood experiences. They were probably never taught how to express their feelings as a child, so they find it difficult to do so as adults. Sometimes it is up to you to help them and show them a better way by establishing communication with them. The results of excellent communication in a relationship are gratifying and can help to sustain a long and healthy relationship. It makes things easier, smoother and dramatically helps maintain the fire of love and affection burning in the relationship.

We already know that communication is key to having a better relationship and the questions that are probably on your mind is 

"How do I do that?"

"How do I establish good communication in my relationship?"

The answer to that question is just as easy as four simple steps. Below are four ways that you can establish excellent communication in your relationship:

  1. Talk About it:

The first step to establishing better communication with your partner is to talk about it. Learn to talk about everything. Things that bother you, financial problems, something that your partner has done, talk about it. If you're not happy about your sex life, talk about it. 

When you talk about these things, it makes it easier to fix, and you might realize that it is not such a huge problem and that it can be fixed by both of you working together as a team. So if you have something on your mind, talk to your partner about it. It is the first step to better communication.


  1. Take Things Slowly

If you are bad at communicating or your partner is someone who doesn't know how to communicate, it's always best to take things slowly. Do not rush when trying to build communication as things might go wrongly. Ask every now and then how they feel and if there is anything they would like to discuss. If you notice there is a change in their countenance or mood, don't ignore them, draw closer and ask them what is wrong. They might not talk about it until you engage them and bring it up. 

It's always nice when someone asks about you and wants to know what's bothering you. It means you care, and this will ease them into communicating with you.


  1. Be a Good Listener:

Another key to communicating is to be a good listener. Establishing excellent communication with your partner is more than just talking but also has a lot to do with listening. Listen because you care and want to hear what the other person is saying, not just listening to respond.

Everyone wants to be heard, and that also includes your partner. If they feel like you're listening to them, they feel better, and communication is established.

The more you listen to what they have to say, the more likely you are to understand them, and they'll also want to listen to you when you speak, and therefore a mutual understanding is created, and communication is established.


  1. Communicate Regularly

So you've taken the first steps in communicating, you and your spouse are probably arguing less, and everything seems to be going smoothly. That is great! That is a good sign that your communication is going well and working wonders in your relationship, so why stop? You should continue. Keep doing it. Make it a habit. Discuss with your partner regularly, talk out issues, ask questions, and see how amazing, peaceful, and enjoyable your relationship becomes. It'll feel just like home.

Benefits of Establishing Good Communication

Communicating effectively has a lot of benefits like: 

  • It helps us create a more in-depth, meaningful, and unbreakable bond.
  • It helps to avoid misunderstanding.
  • It also helps us to feel comfortable and secure in our relationships. 
  • It helps to create and maintain a happy and healthy relationship. 

Relationships are essential parts of human existence. You almost cannot do without them, but we are so different in our temperaments that it takes a lot of communication to make any long-lasting relationship work. 

It is always best to avoid those things that cause a break in communication, like social media. To understand the effects of social media on your relationship, kindly check out The Impact Social Media has on Relationships.

Stay safe, communicate, and stay fun.

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